I started this website with the most committed mind but it's only been three weeks and I missed creating a post last week. Honestly, I wasn't free at all but even then, it gave me a weird sad feeling because I had made a promise about creating one every week. In some ways, I had a feeling of failure because of which even when I was free on Tuesday of this week, I couldn't bring myself to come here and write a post.
It took me some time to understand that being committed means not giving up even when you miss a deadline or even when you fail in some area. Some time only, because it's Thursday and I am here, creating a new post, absolutely happy that I am able to do this.
Now, I feel like I overshared but I think that's the whole point of it.
Almost the same thing seemed to have happened to my podcast episode but luckily, I was able to make it right on time. I am not exactly the most punctual person on this planet and still, a perfectionist. It's a deadly combination because I procrastinate and when the time to submit something is around, I start panicking and until it's perfect, I am not satisfied with my work, usually leading me to miss deadlines.
I try my best to overcome my procrastination so that I can still do everything perfectly but have enough time to do it and not miss deadlines or panic about things, and that they don't pile up on me like a huge mess. That is half of the reason why I started the podcast and this website; to enjoy being me and to do what I like without it being perfect or it feeling like it was some kind of work, to practice and to learn to be better but it is hard to come out of thinking a certain way or doing things with a certain mindset because even when I want to change, I ended up feeling like a failure when I couldn't post.
The thing is, as I spent time thinking about it for the last few days, that it is okay to make mistakes and if I truly want to change and do something, I have to bring myself to it back even when I don't like it or have lost interest in it. Changing or bettering myself is going to be a long process and I know, at one point, I would want to give up, just the way I did on Tuesday, but not giving up is the actual change. To try again and again and again.
It is such a good thought and thinking about it again now, I believe that it can certainly be applied to so many things and not just our habits. It can be applied to work, friendships, relationships, love, family, career. In my life, I am going to apply this thought to not just this website, but even to my podcast, that I am going to make mistakes, that things might not go the way that I want them to, but that's okay. The challenge is not to do something but to continue doing it when it gets tough and when you don't get it.
It's like a study, like in school when we didn't get a particular topic, we would ask our teacher to repeat it again and again and she/he would do it and in different ways so that we could understand it in the best way possible.
This somehow makes me feel lighter, sharing this and coming to a better realization. Reading it again, I feel like such a spiritual person - I am not.
It is just something that came to me and what best to write on a website made to better myself if not my own journey of it?
Well, thank you for reading this particular piece of overshared self-realization which feels annoying, all of them do, I know, I try to read them but no. Coming to another realization, that is very hypocritical of me but I do try my best and I am going to keep doing so until I am the best version of myself.
A warm welcome to Humanity's Thread and welcome again to the people who already follow me. If you enjoy listening to me and reading my posts, then don't forget to subscribe to this website and follow my podcast, you can easily listen to it on Anchor, Spotify, Pocket Casts, Breaker, Google Podcasts, and other apps, you can also subscribe to my Website - "Humanity's Thread" to always know the behind the scenes and making of the Podcast. You can also contact me through my email - humanitysthread@gmail.com if you want to share some of your ideas and perspectives. You can send me voice messages on Anchor, I always respond! I am also available on Instagram - @humanitysthread
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